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Ep. 65 – Linda Wattier – Bold Wellbeing

Mich Bondesio chats to Linda Wattier, a writer and wellbeing coach, about bold wellbeing, self-compassion, being a highly sensitive person, and how to support yourself and build resilience when you are facing intensely stressful situations.

Links & Resources for Linda Wattier

Resources mentioned in the Episode

Linda Wattier Headshot

Creating Cadence Podcast Transcript – Episode 65

Published 11 July 2024

Mich Bondesio:

Hi, and welcome to creating cadence, a podcast for life and work in motion. I’m your host Mich Bondesio, a writer, speaker, coach, consultant and solo entrepreneur. I’m also the author of The Cadence Effect.

I help high achievers stuck on the toxic treadmill of overwork to transform your approach to life work and business. So we can all activate more of our potential. Improve our wellbeing and performance and find joy in every part of our life. At a cadence that’s more suitable to us. Despite this fast-paced world we live in.

This is episode 65, the fifth and final episode of season 10, published in July, 2024.

My apologies to my listeners for the delay in getting this episode out, client work has been keeping my schedule very full. But I think you’ll find that this episode has been worth the wait.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:00:53] Today, I’m chatting with Linda Wattier. Linda is a women’s bold wellbeing coach and the founder of How She Thrives, a free email newsletter for thoughtful, growth-minded women over the age of 40, who want to be their best and feel fully alive for the rest of their lives.

In this episode, we cover intuition, self-compassion, what a robust wellbeing practice looks like, being a highly sensitive person, and ways to overcome procrastination.

Although we speak about things from the perspective of women’s wellbeing in this episode, there are lots of helpful insights to benefit both men and women. And if like me and Linda, you, or someone that you know, experience the physiological conditions associated with being a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP for short. I highly recommend you listen deeply.

But before we get there, a quick news update from me.

So in my last episode, I had an incredibly interesting interview with Heather Ingram about the connection between flow and cadence, so check that one out, if you haven’t already.

I also mentioned in the news section of that episode, that I’m repositioning my business to work more with mission-led businesses who are focused on supporting people and the planet. As part of this shift, I also announced that I’ll be beginning my own B-Corp journey. So if you haven’t listened to that one yet, be sure to check it out, to find out more.

As part of the events work that I do, I’ve also been helping Creative Lancashire and The National Festival of Making with their industry talks programme for this year’s festival, which was just last weekend.

If you’re local to Lancashire, the Festival of Making happens every July in Blackburn, and it’s an amazing free celebration of creativity and making for young and old alike. I highly recommended, it’s a lot of fun. There’s so many things to see and do from music and dance, great food, arts, exhibitions, and loads of different craft-focused workshops. .

For those of you who’ve been following me for a while now, you’ll also know that I always take some time away from content creation over the August holiday period. What that means is that the newsletter and the podcast take a sabbatical.

Now that things slow down. I have the time to focus on doing some other things such as the strategic work that’s required as part of my repositioning for Creating Cadence. And also to work on products like the masterclasses and my audio book.

So I’ll update you on progress with all of those things in September when the podcast and the newsletter come back online.

Now, let’s dive into this helpful, inspiring and moving conversation with Linda Wattier.

As a personal coach and writer, Linda Wattier helps women over 40 to design their most authentic, meaningful and fulfilling second half of life.

Linda’s mission with her coaching and writing at How She Thrives is to encourage, empower and elevate women in midlife. Her sincere desire is to help women feel seen and heard, deeply understood, and less alone in a complex 21st century world.

She defines bold wellbeing as being at home in yourself. And at ease in the world as a woman growing older in an anti-aging culture. It’s about making bold choices for your wellbeing and fulfilment, despite society’s damaging ageist stereotypes.

In this conversation, Linda shares ways to look after yourself when your life is overwhelmingly full and stressful. Particularly if you are caring for elderly parents and/or sick partners.

We also cover topics including intentional wellbeing, practicing self-compassion, being a role model by staying true to your practices, and what it means to accept and honour being a highly sensitive person.

After the interview, I also delve further into three of the points that Linda makes in our conversation. So don’t forget to stick around for those.

Now if you’re ready. Let’s dive in.

So hi, Linda it’s lovely to have you on the show.

Linda Wattier:

[00:04:45] Thank you for inviting me. I’m so happy to be here.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:04:48] My pleasure. So some context for my listeners. We’ve been part of the same online community for several years now, and also part of a private accountability group within that community. So we get to see each other almost every week. And I’ve enjoyed witnessing the evolution of your brand and your business.

I really love the name that you chose for it, How She Thrives. And I enjoy reading your newsletter because I’m definitely part of your target audience. And you always have a really nourishing take on topics that are relevant for women at this age and stage in life.

Thank you. And by the way, you were instrumental, I don’t know if you remember this, but you were instrumental in my choosing the name, How She Thrives.

Oh, I forgot about that. Thank you so much. So if we move forward to kind of fast forward to where you are in this moment, where are you on your career path? What is your current life and work context and what has brought you to this point?

Linda Wattier:

[00:05:37] Yeah, so my work context is that I’m a writer, personal coach, and founder of How She Thrives, and it’s a free personal growth newsletter for women in the second half of life, as you know. And I am in the process of reinventing myself as an entrepreneur, a brand new entrepreneur, and starting my own digital personal enterprise. And so my focus right now, I’m at the very early stages. So my focus right now, and for the past year or so, has been on writing the newsletter and growing my readership. So that’s where I am with it now.

And then, I guess my life context, here’s where the nitty gritty comes in.

My life context is that I’m a long distance care manager for my parents, both my parents who unfortunately both have dementia and live 2, 800 miles away from me. Luckily, I have a couple of other siblings who are able to help and who live closer, so that’s helpful. But it’s been interesting, because I’m finding out through this new life stage that just how much my siblings see me as the older sister, like now the matriarch of the family.

And this was not quite as evident to me before this. So it’s interesting. Um, so there’s also this aspect of helping siblings manage their own anxiety and difficulty around all this, too. It’s been interesting. And I’m also, unfortunately, the only care manager for my ailing husband.

So, since retiring ten years ago, I’ve supported my husband through several serious health issues. Just seems like one thing after another.

People talk about, like, being sandwiched between older parents and children at this life stage, at this age that we’re at. But for me, it’s a little strange, I’m sandwiched between older parents and a husband who’s a lot older than me.

So about two years ago, I decided to take myself out of retirement, hence the starting the new business. I wasn’t enjoying retirement and I’ve started this new chapter, as I said, as a first time entrepreneur. So there’s been a lot to learn. And, I’m so grateful for the education in the community that you and I both belong to, Leading Expert Alliance. Without the education and the community, I would not have the momentum that I do have right now, even though it feels like I wish it could be more, but, you know, there’s always this feeling of, well, I wish I could achieve more. But I’ve been working on that. So, that’s that part of the story.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:08:21] Wow. Well, that’s a lot of responsibility, uh, in various different forms for you to be juggling as well as building a new business, which is a, you know, a full time job in itself. And care managing is full time job in itself as well. And you have three of those roles on your plate. So I think you’re doing admirably well considering what you’re dealing with, but I can also understand why you chose to take yourself out of retirement and do something for you amidst all of those things.

So thank you so much for sharing about all of that and about the challenges that it brings. Let’s talk more about kind of health and wellbeing in relation to that, and the routines and rituals that you engage in to help keep you resilient, dealing with the stress connected with that.

Linda Wattier:

[00:09:06] Yeah, so, my, I will say that my challenges with regard to work, my challenges this past year have been around getting as much done as I would like to on my fledgling business, with all the distractions and, you know, let’s face it, heartache, really, in my personal life. Um, it often feels like my creativity and productivity are just being drained right out of me, when I’m dealing with all the personal stuff.

So, I have several ways that I support myself. So one of the things is that I do have quite a robust set of healthy habits that I engage in almost every day, and I will share them if that’s okay.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:09:48] Yes, please do.

Linda Wattier:

[00:09:49] So I have an early morning practice that consists of journaling, meditation, and a little bit of breath work.

And then, I do lots and lots of walking outside and hiking in the wilderness and nature photography. So those things feed my soul. When I’m out there with nature, you know, whatever it may be that’s in front of me or wherever I am, it just makes me feel at home and, and there’s nothing as relaxing as that.

And then I drink lots and lots of water, and I eat a 90 percent vegan diet. So, vegan 90 percent of the time. And the 10 percent is to allow myself treats that I love, that I can’t get over, like ice cream, pizza. The odd serving of filet mignon every once in a while, even. Anyway, it’s working for me. I’ve been on this way of eating now for over four years. It’s working well.

And then, going to bed early and reading only fiction at night before sleep. So that’s like, that’s my reward, I guess, for whatever went on in the day. So those things are, you know, mostly non negotiable. Now, life gets in the way sometimes, like, your husband waking you up at 1. 30 in the morning, we have to go to the ER, you know, and then you’re nine hours in the ER. Well, obviously your early morning routine’s not going to be happening, right?

So all you can do in situations like that, or what I’ve been able to do, is just pick one or two of these things that seem like they’ll fit in somewhere in the day, and just do some of them, or one of them even.

Just don’t give up. Don’t throw it all away. So important.

So those are my, those are my healthy habits, but I have other things that support me. So, one thing that helps me overcome the challenge of feeling like I’m not getting enough done in my new business is it’s working on my mindset. So instead of thinking in terms of being productive, I now think, thanks to you also, I now think in terms of momentum.

So I’ve decided that, and this is fairly recent, only in the last few months, I’ve decided that like any micro step forward, is enough. And it’s good enough. And, anything at all that keeps the momentum going in the right direction is okay with me now. Whereas, you know, I did a lot of beating myself up for not achieving enough. But I’m not doing that anymore. I can’t afford to.

So, also I have to say that your chapter in The Cadence Effect about procrastination really helped me understand why I’ve struggled with procrastination, what it means. It’s really all about, what I learned there was, it’s all about trying to manage your stress and challenging emotions in unhelpful ways.

It’s, can become like an addiction. It’s like a coping strategy that gets away from you over time. So just reading about that was very helpful for me. And that was, you know, last year after your book came out, and then more recently a close friend reminded me in a catch up call we had recently that you can work in 15 minute increments if you need to.

I keep forgetting about that because I keep thinking for my creative writing, creating the newsletter, all the things that go with that, and wanting to produce something helpful for the women in my audience, I can get really caught up in, “Oh, I need long periods of quiet and solitude just to get the creativity going and stuff”. That’s how I’ve, you know, was operating most of the time last year. And all of a sudden now, this year, I started trying this more recently. And it works, because it totally takes care of my procrastination problem. I don’t know if it works like this for everybody, but because I can see that I am getting the important things done more consistently. And how I make the tasks easier for myself is by just saying, well, you can do anything for 15 minutes.

Just focus on this one thing So next thing you know, I see that I’m getting the important things done. So those are all ways that I, that I support myself these days.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:14:03] Oh, I love what you shared there. And I’ve made a couple of notes because there’s a few things I wanted to go through. So important what you said at the beginning about you have a toolkit of routines that you engage in at the beginning of the day and the end of the day, but you know that they might not always happen or they might happen out of sync, or you may not get the chance to do all of them.

And what you said there was picking one thing and knowing that you’ve kind of won the day if you’ve managed to do at least one of those things that you know is supporting you. And that’s so important because it also supports our mindset to be more positive.

You know, you’ve achieved something. So you’re less likely to berate yourself and be down on yourself. And then the mindset thing is super, super important, especially as an entrepreneur, because we go through fluctuations in mood repeatedly because we’re experiencing failure and success, you know, several times in a day sometimes because we have to learn so many new things and we’re juggling so many different roles within that role of entrepreneur.

So so important that you mentioned that and love the idea of the micro steps. That is the way to sustainably, keep moving forward with the momentum, with all the other crap that gets thrown at us in life. And you’ve given us several examples in your life situation.

So, the 15 minute increments is brilliant.

It’s something I use as well. I’m like you I feel like I need larger spaces of time to be able to do something creative, especially when I’m creating something new, but very often it’s really hard to just get started and to put that stuff on the page. And as you say, you just start with 15 minutes and sometimes before you know it, half an hour has gone by or an hour has gone by and you’ve managed to do what you can.

But also, there’s the necessity that is created by that constraint. If you’re in the ER and you only have 15 minutes to yourself before you have to speak to the doctor on behalf of your husband or any of those things, you’re actually being super productive in those 15 minutes because you’re laser focused because you realise you have to work within those boundaries and that constraint and it is amazing what we can achieve.

So, brilliant examples. Thank you so much.

Linda Wattier:

[00:15:56] So true. Thank you.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:15:58] All right, so this podcast is all about how we can create cadence and build momentum and keep moving forwards, despite the challenges that we face. So in that broader context, what does that concept of cadence mean for you in your life? You’ve alluded to it in a few ways, but let’s talk about it a bit more.

Linda Wattier:

[00:16:15] Yeah, so if we go a little deeper with that, so, it turns out, that I was born as what is called a highly sensitive person. And, as were you, yes, which I found out by reading your book.

And so, we have that in common. Now, it’s different for everybody, how, how it affects you, but it is a biological thing, and has to do with your nervous system.

And, uh, for me, I don’t get like the physical sort of symptoms. I’m not sensitive to, you know, well my skin is maybe a little sensitive, but I don’t get easily like rashes and different things or like stomach upsets, like physical things like that have not been part of my experience.

But, what has been part of my experience is mostly mental emotional. So I have a lot of empathy, just a high degree of empathy. I have what’s called depth of processing, which it’s just the way my brain processes stimuli from all the senses, and then just kind of high emotionality.

So, I’m a very emotional person and that’s, you know, that could be good. And as long as you’re emotionally mature, which I wasn’t always. I had to learn how to become emotionally mature. And I’m pleased that I am that now finally at this stage in life.

But so all these things, especially the depth of processing thing. A lot of times things just come at me and I get like intuitive senses about people or what’s happening or the energy in a room. Like I actually can sense energies all over the place. So, just this one example, a long time ago, I remember it was a really clear example of this.

I was at home with my husband. He was watching TV over there, and I was in the kitchen over here, getting dinner on for us. And, all of a sudden, I started feeling edgy, uncomfortable, jittery, sort of, out of nowhere. I mean, I’m just making dinner. Like, I’m not thinking about anything particularly stressful or anything.

And I started feeling that way in my body. Like, just anxious, I guess, kind of little bit butterflies in the stomach and stuff. And then I sort of was questioning that. And then it came to me. It was kind of an insight that came to me. And I called out to my husband. Hey, how are you doing over there?

Well, it turned out that he wasn’t feeling well. He was feeling anxious and it was about him. And I had picked up on this energy of his completely out of the blue. So that’s just one example of some things.

But so cadence, so getting back to a sort of broader context. So for me, you know, creating cadence really means honouring my need for a slower pace, honouring my depth of perception, just honouring my own nervous system and accepting what I was born with. Which by the way, for most of my life I didn’t know or understand. Nobody in my life knew, nobody could tell me.

People just used to say, used to think I was just high maintenance and,” Well, we just never knew what to do with you a lot of times” when I was a kid, or not being understood really and not being able to either explain it to anyone. Took it till I was in my 40s to learn about this, and it was such a relief because it was like, “Oh, that explains a lot.” And now I can learn how to better care for myself.

And I always had this visual. It’s just kind of a funny metaphor, like, so, I don’t know if you know Alanis Morissette’s music. And she has a song called Orchid. And ever since then, I always think of myself as an orchid, who’s very high maintenance and needs all special treatment and all that, right? And lots of TLC and all that. Well, I want to go from being an orchid to being a wildflower. I just want to grow wherever, you know. So. that’s been kind of the journey. I think I kind of have turned myself into a wildflower now and I’m very grateful for that.

But so the cadence, it’s honouring my slower pace and my need for quiet solitude. A lot of it. Way more than most people. And that used to bug me. That’s why people call me high maintenance.

That’s why people don’t understand when I talk about solitude. A lot of people, most people I would say, are kind of, “well, you don’t want to isolate yourself” and “be careful there”. And there’s no need for me to be careful. I know what I need. And, I’ve thankfully reached this place now. So honouring all that, and it’s all about so I can stay connected to my true self, my wisdom.

So I can hear it. I can hear my wisdom. And stay connected to my zest for life. Because that’s one of my values. It’s important. And so, the bottom line about all of this is that really what it comes down to is practicing self compassion. And so, this is one of the things that has become really important to me , and to help women remember, I mean, I guess throughout all life, but the second half of life just has different kinds of challenges than the first half did, I guess.

There’s a lot of loss in the second half of life, I think.

Loss that’s different than the first half.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:21:20] Yeah. Yeah. Linda, that’s so beautiful. I love the analogy that you used of moving from seeing yourself as an orchid to a wildflower. And, a lot of what you explained is so relatable to me. I need large amounts of time on my own to recharge and to create the space to think, as you say, you know, and honouring yourself and accepting and identifying what your needs are and placing them at the forefront of what’s important to you, , it’s beautiful. So thank you so much for sharing about that.

And I do agree with you, unexpectedly for me as well, I didn’t really realise when I hit midlife that there would be so much loss and so much grief and it’s, you know, in terms of relationships and losing people, but also in terms of losing parts of yourself, but then also finding parts of yourself or creating new parts, you know, or allowing those new parts to come in. The parts you always wanted to potentially to be, but weren’t able to.

And, talking about that, let’s talk a bit more about how cadence applies in relation to your business, How She Thrives. Your title is that of bold wellbeing coach, and your aim is to help create bold wellbeing for women over 40. So how does that concept of cadence apply to the work that you do to support and help your audience and clients to be bold in building momentum in their lives?

Linda Wattier:

[00:22:35] So what bold wellbeing means, my definition of bold wellbeing is being at home in yourself and at ease in the world. But being at home in yourself is the most important piece, well, they’re both important. But, so that’s my definition of bold wellbeing. And a lot of times what happens is women end up, you know, especially women who raise kids for a long time, you know, I’ve noticed, boy, they just can lose themselves so easily, and all women, because we’ve been, we’ve been socialised to just care for others before ourselves.

That’s just the truth in the world about women. So, what I find in talking with women and even corresponding with my readers at How She Thrives, there’s a lot of reminding, almost giving women permission to sort of slow down and look at their own selves and figure out what they really want.

What do I really want? Because they’ve spent their whole lives, you know, asking what can I give and who can I help and there’s a lot of self sacrifice, because that’s just how we’re raised.

But so, how Cadence applies, I just feel like by honouring my Cadence, my particular brand of self compassion and, you know, my Cadence, it boosts my resilience and creativity and momentum, you know, slash productivity. And so I guess how it affects my business is that, I’m being a model of that. I’m being a model of that for the women in my community. And by teaching them how to create their own, create their own version, and get their own forward momentum in whatever direction they are choosing to go in or really want to go in.

So cadence is, I mean, it’s just all about rhythm and pattern and flow. And it’s about evolution too. So that’s why for me it fits so well with what I’m wanting to do with my writing and coaching for women, is to bring them back to self reflection and slowing down and figuring out if they haven’t, you know, which most, most of them have not figured it out.

What is the best cadence for me? What does that look like? And why,why is it important?

Because it boosts your resilience.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:24:49] Yeah. That’s very true.

Linda Wattier:

[00:24:50] So as a highly sensitive person, I would say that that for me is, you know, self compassion and creating your own cadence, it boosts your resilience, which is really important in this crazy 21st century world we live in.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:25:05] You’re absolutely right. Great. Well, those are fantastic examples that you’ve given. I love the idea of the evolutionary pace. So as we’re coming to the end, can you share any words of advice or key takeaways for my listeners based on your experience of life so far and where you’re going?

Linda Wattier:

[00:25:22] Oh my gosh. I am so passionate about this message. Slow down and create a cadence of self compassion. So important. Spend time in self reflection. Go deeper with your sweet self. So you can rise higher. That’s my, that’s really my message.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:25:43] That’s beautiful. Thanks so much, Linda. So tell everybody where they can find you online so they can sign up and read your wonderful newsletter.

Linda Wattier:

[00:25:51] Thank you. It’s, it’s the only place that I appear online cause I’m really not doing social media right now, but it’s

Mich Bondesio:

[00:26:00] That’s fantastic. Thanks so much, Linda. I’ve really enjoyed having this conversation with you.

Linda Wattier:

[00:26:04] Thank you. Me too. Went by so quickly.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:26:07] It did.

Linda Wattier:

[00:26:07] Take care.

Mich Bondesio:

[00:26:08] I hope you enjoyed listening to Linda’s thoughts on cadence and self-compassion as much as I did. She is definitely a role model for learning how to support your wellbeing when life is throwing seriously sneaky curveballs and tough challenges your way.

A lot of how Linda manages these challenges is down to ensuring she has strong foundations, something I also write about in my book. These are robust, super intentional and often non-negotiable practices, which also have a degree of flexibility to them so that they can fit around the “topsy turvyness” of life.

Now there are three areas that Linda referenced that I want to highlight further.

They are Procrastination, Solitude and Becoming.

Linda gave an excellent example of how procrastination can hijack her productivity and outputs.

When we face challenges, it automatically puts us into a reactive mode. Wanting to keep us safe, our brain then becomes alert to potential threats, both real and imagined. And our response to those perceived threats is that sometimes we default to very unhelpful or avoidant behaviours to keep us safe. Which can then in turn impact on our ability to get things done and to make progress on the things that are important to us.

Linda shared her 15 minute hack that helps her to take micro steps forwards to keep building momentum. Doing things in smaller increments helps her to keep going. Now, sometimes making progress is focusing on looking after your health from day to day so that you are resilient enough to weather the extreme storms you’re facing. Sometimes that’s sorted and you don’t have to worry about that.

Sometimes it may be more about breaking down difficult and scary tasks into more tiny, manageable steps so that they feel more doable.

As Linda advises, just because something is hard, don’t give up and don’t throw it all away.

You can find mini ways that are more manageable to help you keep making forward progress. No matter the storm you may be facing.

The second point is Solitude.

Even if you aren’t an introvert or an HSP, making time to be on your own can be healing, energising, and revelatory.

Creating the space is an opportunity for reflection, for developing your self awareness, for connecting with your intuition more deeply, for practicing self-compassion, and for solution finding and creative inspiration.

Whilst I do enjoy spending social time with the right people, after my epic burnout experience, which I discuss in my book, I ended up spending a lot of time on my own unintentionally. This was after always being used to being around other people, but often feeling drained and not realising the cause.

It was only through the experience of doing things on my own that I realised how much I needed solitude as part of my own process and personal practice. And I’ve come to appreciate the wellbeing and productivity benefits it has for me.

So consider what energises you? Are you an extrovert, an introvert or an ambivert, which is a bit of both? Are you an empath? Are you a highly sensitive person? What are your energy needs? And how can you create space in your day and your life to recharge, reflect and recover in solitude.

Remember, all you need is 15 minutes to start making change.

The third point is about Becoming and the journey that this involves.

Linda shared a lovely analogy about changing the way she sees herself as she grows into becoming more of herself.

From being a high-maintenance orchid that is restricted in where it can grow, to becoming a wildflower that is versatile and resilient enough to grow anywhere.

Becoming is about honouring the transition that takes place in ourselves and in our lives, as we grow older. It’s the journey to learn more about ourselves, and to identify more of what we need to flourish. It’s about being more comfortable in our skins, because becoming is also about honouring the special gifts and quirks that form part of our unique physical and mental makeup as individuals.

When we practice self-compassion and self-acceptance, we learn to be kinder and gentler with ourselves, flaws and all. When we build strong wellbeing foundations that enhance our resilience, we’re better able to connect with our true self and hear our inner wisdom. When we do these things, we’re better able to align our actions in the external world in a way that brings peace, calm and grounding in our inner world.

As Linda advocates, the journey is about becoming more at home in yourself and more at ease in the world.

So give some thought to how you can create deeper connections with your inner self to help you break down the barriers and become that strong, compassionate, resilient, intuitive person you were always meant to be out in the world.

It’s a process. It’s a practice. It’s a single step that leads to another. And another. And together, they help you to create cadence.

Thanks for listening.

The podcast will be back in September 2024, but a few things before you go.

You can find out more about my book at And helpful reviews are always welcome to help the book get found by those who need it.

If you liked the show, please share the love by rating it, where you listen to it. (Apple, Spotify, Google Play, or Amazon Music.)

And you can also support the making of Creating Cadence on Patreon or Buy Me A Coffee.

And if you have a product that aligns with the ethos of creating cadence and you want to sponsor the show, then please drop us a line at

Until next time, keep moving forwards with courage, curiosity, and cadence. Bye for now.

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